Almost every morning, I wake at 5 am and post something to this blog. I also send out pictures and quotes to my students and friends on social media. Yesterday I posted this…”Never change to please other people. Change so that you can deepen your sense of compassion and your practice of bringing love into the world. You are a creation of the universe and of Love. All you have to do is remember.”
I have to admit that this week has been a challenge. The work and deadlines are piling up, stress is accumulating, and I am not my usually positive and cheerful self. I stood there next to the coffee machine in the faculty room with an empty cup in hand, feeling quite like the hypocrite. My friend Kathleen must have seen the angst on my face because she immediately came over. She said, ” You need to remember that your ministry is the fact that you live a real life in front of others. It means you are going to fall and get back up again. You are going to make mistakes and correct them. You are going to be vulnerable in front of the world. Do not be afraid of it.” Later in the day my brother said, “You have to take control of your own ship. It doesn’t matter if you are blown off course, right the ship.”
If I take my own advice about not changing to please people, it means that sometimes I am going to be sad, confused, selfish, tired, and not creative. In those moments, that is who I authentically am, whether I like it or not.
I believe that we are channels for peace and love to enter the world, but we are also human. The part I tend to leave out is the “forgiving yourself” part. So this has been on my mind. In being capable of writing such beautiful words, I also tend to fall prey to perfectionism, thinking I need to be perfect in front of the world in order to be believable. All I really need to be is honest, and that means being vulnerable.
So I am not sure what my posts will be like this week. As with all storms, this too will eventually pass. I need to find rest in God’s (Love’s) heart and keep walking forward.
It’s a new creation every day…so here goes Tuesday. Join me in living out hope. Have a good one!