Vicariously

i touch the split

inside of me

that wants to give

and not receive

~
People are the mirror for our inner being. I have been surrounded by unavailability. Those who say the opposite of what they mean. Whatever surrounds you is who you are. I am working to heal and to shift my energy. Many things are leaving me. There is pain but the wound must be cleaned. I have been unavailable to myself by trying to be everything for everyone else. That’s not in my life’s job description anymore.

Recently, a student asked me what “vicariously” meant. It means you are not living your own life…authenticity. Real love is a fearsome thing. Now I can say it honestly…without need. I love you.

“… that the self can interrupt the self—and does—is a darker and more curious matter.”-Mary Oliver